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Husband’s Guide to Surviving (and Thriving) Pregnancy

Navigating pregnancy's ups and downs, from hormonal mood swings to sleepless nights, requires empathy and humor. Understanding cravings, prenatal care, and delivery stats can help partners better support moms-to-be.

When I found out my wife and I were expecting, I was a mix of ecstatic and dread. Excited that I was finally a dad, and dreading what to do next. Thankfully my wife and I were both the eldest of 3 siblings and we’ve had plenty of experience of what to expect – having to assist our mothers during pregnancy.

So here’s some stuff we can share on what to expect and what to do.

Firstly, pregnancy has its phases, and so should your strategy. Each trimester brings its own challenges, surprises, and a whole new version of your wife. Here’s my guide to navigating this journey trimester by trimester, keeping your cool (and maybe some snacks handy).

First Trimester: The Surprise Season (Q1: Weeks 1-12)

1. Hormones: Brace for Impact

In these early weeks, hormones are in overdrive as your wife’s body adjusts to pregnancy. Estrogen and progesterone levels skyrocket, making emotions unpredictable. One minute she’s crying over commercials, and the next, she’s laughing uncontrollably at something entirely unfunny. This mood rollercoaster is common during the first trimester.

What to do: Be ready to roll with the emotional tides. Offer support, not solutions. And always have snacks on hand—her mood might be linked to low blood sugar.

  • Listen – Keep your opinions to yourself. Just agree with her. As they say, “Happy wife, happy life.”
  • Offer Support – Get your lazy butt off the couch and prep things ahead of time for her. Even in the animal kingdom, the male will prepare things ahead of time for the expecting female.
  • Prepare Yourself Mentally – Yes, it’s tough. Her hormones are going to be out of whack. Just remember it’s the hormones talking, not her. Just make sure she’s always comfortable around you and everything will be okay.

2. Morning Sickness (It’s Not Just Mornings)

Morning sickness can show up as early as the sixth week, hitting up to 80% of pregnant women (ACOG). It’s not confined to mornings either; nausea can strike anytime. Strong smells, food aversions, and constant queasiness might make your home a battlefield.

What to do: Keep the pantry stocked with nausea-friendly snacks like crackers and ginger tea. Learn to anticipate when smells will be an issue (yes, even the smell of your cologne might suddenly be unwelcome). Don’t take it personally if your cooking suddenly becomes offensive.

  • Understand – Well, she’s your wife – you married her. 😄 So pretty much you should already know what she likes, and dislikes. However at this period, her sensitivity may go haywire. The things she likes, may suddenly turn into something she loathes and vice versa. So take a breather and try to understand what she needs in the moment.
  • Offer Support – Feeling nauseous is a terrible feeling. Be there for her when she needs it – hold her hair back, rub her back.
  • A Bucket Maybe? – I prepared a rubbish bin lined with a few plastic bags, a glass of water, and tissue paper on the night stand. Handy in the event of an emergency midnight hurl.

Second Trimester: The Sweet Spot (Q2: Weeks 13-26)

3. Cravings and Aversions: Expect the Unexpected

Welcome to the land of cravings! The second trimester is famous for weird food requests. Around 50%-90% of pregnant women experience cravings (Journal of Obesity), while food aversions from the first trimester may start to fade. But be prepared for some strange combos.

What to do: Satisfy her cravings but encourage moderation. Midnight pickle runs are a rite of passage, but if it’s getting too frequent, suggest keeping some favorites in stock. And don’t be surprised when she no longer likes something she begged for last week.

  • Patience – A midnight run is to be expected. So take a breath and grit your teeth – it’s all part of the process. Expect that when you return, she’ll have changed her mind. Easy there, big fella. 😅
  • Prepare In Advance – As aforementioned in 2. Morning Sickness, her sensitivity and likes/dislikes may go haywire. So understanding what her needs are and preparation goes a long way. Stock up the bedroom, living room, couch area, etc. with stuff she may need without getting up.
  • Prepare To Be A Chef – If you’re like me – an expat living overseas, you probably don’t have your family to assist you. If you do? Great for you! If not, then get ready to whip out that apron and get to cooking. You don’t need to be a professional chef, but you’d at least need to know how to prep some basic snacks/meals. Less or no sodium (that’s salt!) and sugar. Carbs in moderation. Flavoring and seasoning to a minimum or none at all – use natural stuff.

4. Baby Brain Is Real

Get ready to be excited! Some may opt this out for the surprise, but this is the period where the gender of your child is revealed! (Yay!) 😄

*ahem* okay, back to what to expect…

Cognitive changes start becoming more apparent in the second trimester. Forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, and the infamous “pregnancy brain” might start to show. It’s a scientifically backed phenomenon—research published in Nature Neuroscience confirms that pregnancy affects memory-related brain regions.

What to do: Be her memory ally. Help track appointments, organize baby shopping, and remind her of important things (like where she left her keys). It’s time to step up as the unofficial household secretary.

  • Keep Track – Make a mental note of things. Your wife will be exhausted, tired, and quite temperamental. Best to avoid this beast by getting things organized and keeping track of things for her.
  • Time To Shop – This would be a good time to start researching your baby’s needs and prepare to go shopping with your wife. My advice is to minimize your expenditure to only the necessities. Why? There will be plenty of gifts/freebies coming your way that you’ll be asking yourself – ‘Why in the world did you spend money on this crap when you could’ve gotten it for free?’ Trust Me. There will be lots of parents who wants to let go of their infant stuff that’s cluttering their homes.
  • Maybe Get The Nursery Ready? – Allocate time, effort, budget, and space to welcome the little tyke. Space is utmost importance. That and sanitary hygiene. Keep the nursery spacious, easy to navigate, and everything easy to reach. Have a system ready (really, this is very important!)

5. The Glow and the Energy Surge

For many women, the second trimester is when things start to settle. Hormones level out a bit, and the infamous “pregnancy glow” kicks in as circulation improves. Also, her energy levels may surge compared to the fatigue of the first trimester.

What to do: Encourage light exercise (as approved by the doctor), help her maintain her new energy levels with balanced meals, and maybe take advantage of her newfound enthusiasm to tackle those baby-related projects like setting up the nursery.

  • Brisk Evening Walks – It helps elevate her hormones and emotions. Have positive and encouraging conversations, talks, and maybe show some affection to her.
  • Plan Your Projects – Wow. This is the most exciting phase of the trimesters. On your walks, plan your projects with her and show her you’re dependable. The nursery should already be started, involve her input with it. What necessary items to buy, etc. etc.
  • Register For Free Stuff! – There are too many insurance agencies and infant companies that’ll give you free stuff! We registered ourselves for quite a number of goodie bags. This saved us quite a significant amount of expenditure on infant bottles, bags, nappies, etc. A good haul if you ask me. 😂
  • Confinement Nanny – Probably a good time to speak to your wife about arranging for a confinement nanny, or a confinement center. You will need at least 3-4 months ample time to book a slot, or arrange with an agency for one.

Third Trimester: The Final Countdown (Q3: Weeks 27-40)

6. Sleep (or Lack Thereof)

As the baby grows, sleep becomes increasingly difficult. Between the baby kicking, back pain, and constant bathroom trips (thanks to baby’s pressure on her bladder), getting a full night’s sleep might feel like a distant dream. The National Sleep Foundation notes that over 78% of pregnant women experience insomnia or sleep disruptions by the third trimester.

Thankfully my wife had a solid routine before we were expecting. Good exercise, yoga, gym, and a balanced diet, she was pretty okay on this. Our routine was to turn in to sleep latest at midnight every night, and our little one always kicked exactly every 3 hours. So, to each their own. It’s just good to be prepared mentally.

What to do: Help her create a relaxing bedtime routine and invest in a body pillow. If her tossing and turning are keeping you both awake, consider sacrificing a few nights on the couch for some uninterrupted sleep—no shame in getting rest where you can.

  • Routine – Encourage a standard routine for the both of you. This will ease her into managing the situation.
  • Mentally Prepare – Infants have a sleep time of 1-2 hours before having to feed. So mentally prepare to be up at the slightest cry.

7. The Birth Plan (But Be Ready to Improvise)

As you inch closer to delivery day, the focus turns to the birth plan. There’s a whole lot to do! Whether it’s an all-natural labor, an epidural, or the possibility of a C-section, expect the unexpected. The CDC reports that only 63% of first-time moms deliver on or after their due date, so flexibility is key.

What to do: Review the birth plan together, but mentally prepare for the possibility of detours. The best way to support your wife during labor is to stay calm and adapt to whatever comes your way, even if that means a last-minute change of plans.

  • Birth Plan – Discuss with your wife:
    • Which hospital?
    • Natural or C-Section?
    • Private or shared maternity room/ward (financials)?
    • Epidural?
    • Insurance (if natural)
  • Route to hospital – Preparation favors the bold. Be smart and mentally map the fastest route to the hospital. Which road to take, how long will it get there. There’s nothing worse than her water breaking, getting stuck in the morning rush hour traffic and you panicking. Plus fyi, there’s usually a separate emergency entrance for deliveries that leads straight to a hospital’s delivery room. 😊
  • Hospital Bag – There a lot of websites that listed out quite a many things. And being nervous nellies as first-time parents, you’d pack one-too many things. Truth be told? 80% of the things my wife packed was not even used. 😣Just pack the necessities – the hospital will provide most of the things that she needs.

8. Emotional Support and Massages

As the due date approaches, your wife may experience heightened emotions—anxiety about labor, excitement, and some last-minute nesting urges. She’ll need your support more than ever during this stage, both emotionally and physically. The physical discomfort can ramp up as well, with back pain and swollen feet becoming more common.

What to do: Massages will be your best friend here. Studies show that prenatal massages help reduce pain and anxiety in pregnant women (BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth). Be present. Listen to her worries, and remind her that she’s doing great (because she really is).

  • Massages – Most of the time there will be a lot of people advocating pre-natal massages. Yeah, they’re expensive. Instead, just give her a massage whenever she needs it. It’s free and costs nothing. 😄
  • Be Present – Focus on her needs and nothing else for the moment. Listen to her laments, and worries, give her encouragement. Keep your anxieties to yourself – you can worry about them later.
  • Fall In Love – Remind her again why she fell in love with you. Be funny if you’d like, but use this in moderation – otherwise it’ll backfire. Badly. Ultimately, remind her that the bundle of joy that’s to be expected is the best version of the both of you. 😊

Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This

Pregnancy is a long, evolving process, and each trimester brings something new to the table. From the hormonal whirlwind of the first trimester to the third trimester’s sleepless nights, you’ll be your wife’s most valuable teammate. By staying patient, flexible, and a little witty, you’ll both come out stronger (and probably with a great story or two).

Remember, the goal isn’t to “manage” your pregnant wife—it’s to support her, laugh through the weird parts, and make her feel loved every step of the way.

You’ve got this, dad-to-be! 👍

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